I’m Not Even a Football Fan

Sometimes when there’s a football game on and even tho’ I don’t know which end of the field is which or which end to root for. The colors of the players uniforms is a tremendous help in letting me know who to cheer for! While I'm not a football fan, there was one game which I will never forget.

It was in December of 1983, the game was between the Los Angeles Rams and the New Orleans Saints. I can’t recall anything regarding the game but I’ll always remember that nerve wracking last few seconds of that game. Tension if electric, would have lit up an entire city block.

I watched the game with my friend Bob, who was precariously sitting on the very edge of the couch, with anxiety over the games outcome, his voice dropped with each second when he finally moaned , “The Rams don’t stand a chance”. With that I spoke up in a voice I that I suddenly discovered was mine! “Oh yah,” I said with confidence, “WATCH THIS” With that I thrust my hands out, pointing at the Saints players and said “HEX”. I had put my hex on the team opposite those Rams. They really wanted to win very much. And win they did.

Apparently my hex was genuine and it worked. At least I’d like to think it was my help that led the Rams to that winning celebration that night.

The next morning, December 19, 1983 I read Rick Talley’s column in the sports section of the Daily News only to read, “For 59 minutes and 58 seconds in New Orleans the offense of the Los Angels Rams was unable to produce a single point, Then he said, “ I have seen many strange football games, but this was one of the strangest, and surely the wailing on Bourbon Street must have hit a new pitch Sunday night,. There was no joy at the Old Absinthe House.”

I simply had to telephone Rick and let him know the truth and why that game wasn’t that strange after all. The following day, his article titled “WILL A HEX WORK IN DALLAS,TOO? There in his column, was my name and the story of my hex. That was not exceptional but what was exceptional was the fact that my sons would never believe they would be reading about “Mom” in the sports section of the newspaper. Son, Brian grabbed a paper in the men’s room as some men often do, only to almost be launched from his seat as he spied his mother’s name in the sports section. Son Larry read the article and immediately called his wife, Debbie, who was as work, with a “You’re not going to believe this story," as he read it to her. You’d better believe this story because it’s true.

Rick asked if when the Rams play Dallas, would I put a hex on them. He finished with, “You wouldn’t put a hex on me, would you?” I assured him “Never.” Rick refers to me as the “Lady from Arleta” in several ensuing articles. In fact when I had my hair done, the fellow who was doing my hair was pleased and shocked that I was the “Lady from Arleta” and I was pleased he had read the article and enjoyed my story.

On relating my fun experience to Mark Linns a Councilman e-mail friend from Evansville, Wisconsin, my home town. His reply was, “We’d like Wisconsin to win the Rose Bowl this year, so would you please put a hex on every team the Badgers play ? I thought “Why not, besides this is a lot of fun in spite of the fact that I’m not even a football fan”. Did I mention that I’m not a football fan? I agreed to help Mark out and I was kept super busy with my super Rose Bowl request.as kept track of the Badger games and making sure I hexed their opponents.

Wisconsin won the Rose Bowl with the chance to beat UCLA. Reluctantly I put a hex on UCLA in spite of the fact that my granddaughter was a student at that college. I’m so happy the Badgers ended with a 21 to 16 win over UCLA. . Mark was happy too, that his favorite team was the BIG CHEESE on New Years Day!

We had plans the next day, to meet Mark and his wife at their hotel and have lunch together. When we arrived at the hotel, Mark greeted me with “Have you seen today’s Los Angeles Times?’ I hadn’t but I burst out laughing when he showed me an article that included a comment from UCLA’s Running Back, Daron Washington, when he said, "I don’t know what happened! It seemed as if someone put a Hex on us! " (Little does he know!)

Unsure of my hex ability, one night I selected a great bowler at a Bowling alley. As I watched him bowl, I decided to put my hex to the test to see if it still worked. I put my hex on him and his game and sure enough, he did a lousy job, with little or no control over the ball. When I told him about my hex, he simply laughed, no doubt happy the lousy bowling was not his fault. I left confident that my hex was still intact.

Now, twenty five years later, Jack needed me. It was November 15, 2008 when he was watching Minnesota play Wisconsin and they were strangling the Badgers. His plea “Put a hex on Minnesota”. That woke my sense of fun and adventure and eager to see if my hex was still strong as ever, or had it died out like the flickers of the last of dying embers of my fireplace.

As a former Wisconsinite, I eagerly spotted the uniforms of the Minnesota team and geared all of the hex power I could muster .in my capable hands towards the Minnesota team. Once I was sure my hex was complete, I made my self comfortable at my computer. Every now and then, Jack would come in and report the Wisconsin team made a touchdown. Comforted with the news I kept busy on my computer until those last few seconds when Wisconsin just barely clung to the lead, With only seconds left, they seemed like an hour, then Hooray! Wisconsin won! At that tense moment, I was sure that even after twenty five years my hex power was still as “GOOD AS NEW!” No need to find a great bowler to test it out, Hex anyone?